and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
