i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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