he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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