I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
