WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I party with great urgency now.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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