I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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