That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
