you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The uberlube is also flammable
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
