he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
