I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
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