I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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