i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
