I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
