I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
