she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
