guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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