I can text with my tongue
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
