but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
