Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
