is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
