Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
