please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
