Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Im part way to drunk.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
