i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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