Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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