make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
it's great music for shaving your balls
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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