I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
whose parrot is this?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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