I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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