You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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