Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
