One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
