She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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