it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
