Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
