there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
