dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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