Sry I called you an 8
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
