i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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