Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
