there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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