Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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