Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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