He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
im on a boat
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