before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
