My nipple is on Facebook.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
