The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
whose parrot is this?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
