Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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