Do vagina's smell?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
