I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
