lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
